A "people pleaser" is a person that has an emotional need to please others, often at the expense or his or her own needs or desires. Living as a people pleaser can leave a person feeling drained in virtually every way. Self neglect, in time, can have some very unpleasant side effects. Codependents are people pleasers but Codependency is a more extreme version of people pleasing. As a recovering People Pleaser I had wondered if there were certain factors or even elements in the Human Design BodyGraph that made a person more susceptible to people pleasing. The most likely candidate, albeit it a bit of a generalization, is conditioning. Conditioning are layers of expectations, pressures, and fears that are put on us from the time we are born. These can come from our families, society and planetary cycles. Conditioning can also come from our genetics! If you have grown up in an environment that encouraged or even rewarded people pleasing it's possible that those behaviors are either unconsciously or consciously being expressed. I would say more likely unconsciously as awareness itself can begin a process of healing and recovery. There are a few places in the BodyGraph that can make a person more likely to seek to please others at their own expense. One I'd like to mention is the open solar plexus. The solar plexus in your BodyGraph is the center shaped like a triangle on the right, outermost part of your BodyGraph. It will either be open or undefined, or colored brown. If it is open or undefined that means that the energy there is inconsistent and you will likely take in the emotion of others and amplify that energy in your body. You will likely be empathic or even an 'empath'. In other words you will feel the feelings of others and experience those feelings much more intensely. You could be extremely uncomfortable with unpleasant emotion and may try and please the other person in an effort to not feel what they are feeling amplified in your being. Again, if this is going on, it's likely you will not be immediately aware of this dynamic. People pleasing in this instance is simply a reaction to attempt to equalize the 'out of kilter' energy that you are feeling . Next I want to bring up a Human Design Type that pretty much every resource I checked into referred to as a potential people pleaser. The Manifestor. Yes, the Human Design type some people are intimidated by. Does that surprise you that they can become people pleasers? Manifestor children can really confuse care givers. They have a closed and repelling aura so they are difficult to read and therefore not readily trusted. They are bold, often fearless and they move fast and an unaware parent can be really hard on them in an effort to protect them or just gain a sense of control. Unfortunately sometimes this escalates to the point that this child's natural initiating urges are repressed. It's painful to be controlled and even more painful to feel like you are not trustworthy. Ultimately a desire to find trust, acceptance or approval in a parent or authority can turn them into, you guessed it, a world class people pleaser. I really believe knowing your child's type is so important. It's really a game changer and I do wish that I had known more about my children's aura type earlier! While I am certain there are a multitude of other factors that can contribute to people pleasing these are just a few to consider. Becoming free of people pleasing tendencies can be challenging but it is doable. I find that the more I work on having healthy boundaries, care for myself and address my needs FIRST the more there is of me to genuinely give to those that are in need.
0 Comments
|
AuthorApril Novoa. Human Design Specialist. Autodidact. Forever Student. Archives
February 2023
Categories
All
|