My parents have always joked that I am little bit like Dustin Hofmann's character in Little Big Man. The movie came out in 1970. (It was hilarious but there are probably a few things that might be a bit triggering to some folks so I just want to give you a heads up about that if you are inclined to watch it.) Dustin's character tries on quite a few "life roles" throughout the movie that tells the story of his life in his own words. There was his childhood on the frontier. He then had a period being raised by a Native American tribe. Then he was a Gunslinger. Then he became religious. Then he denounced religion and became a scout for General Custer. That doesn't go well (as we know) and was quite discouraging so he became a recluse and then finally returns to the Cheyenne people. He decides he wants to die but that doesn't work out either so he sticks around and ultimately becomes the old man telling his story about living in a world that at this point no longer exists. He is a person that has seen it and done it all! Like Dustin's character, I have had a lot of phases, so to speak. None so dramatic but I have tried many things, have had many experiences and "failure" as well success. I was raised in a world that put a premium on finding "the thing" and sticking with it. Unfortunately for me that was never in the cards. I am not shaped that way. I will never have the gold watch after 50 years at a company somewhere and I will never retire from a corporation after years of service. I have never stuck with a job, a career, a religion or a clothing style. I am fiercely independent and an avid explorer. I think my husband has likely been married to several women....all with my face. (I have kept him for 32 years by the way) For me everything changes, all the time. When I learn a truth, there is another. I learn something new, I get bored or I come to the end of whatever it is I am learning and experimenting with and I move one. I integrate what worked and discard what didn't. I carried a lot of shame about this most of my life. I compared my myself to all the people who found "the thing." There never has been "a thing" for me. There have been many things and I know, now, there will be more. When I met Human Design the shame and comparison stopped. What I found out about myself, and people like me, blew my socks off! My life's trajectory and the paths I have taken were no mistake. They were data. Data is always a good thing. It's helpful and the world needs it. In Karen Curry Parker's book Understanding Human Design The New Science of Astrology: Discover Who You Really Are, where she is discussing Line 3's, I have underlined these words: "You have never made a mistake in your life. Everything that you have tried that didn't work out was a crucial step in you mastering what does work." I will say, now in my my 50's, the experimentation has slowed a bit. None the less, it is a big part of who I am and it's not something I am going to stop to fit society's definition of what is correct or acceptable. For me learning is thrilling. I am a forever student! However, in Human Design I think I have found something that will likely keep me busy exploring for the rest of my days. Blessings! April
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AuthorApril Novoa. Human Design Specialist. Autodidact. Forever Student. Archives
February 2023
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